xiii: you said move on (where do i go)

title: why, why you?
date: Saturday, May 16, 2009
time:8:15 PM

Work is fun;
keep laughing all the way with Ben and Ash.
And Ben is super smart okay!
He taught us what to put in our PP to make it attractive.
Damn, he's in Shatec and he knows all the SWOT stuffs.
Somehow i feel super dumb.
Ash was super impressed by how Ben's family works.
I am too.
He survived under the toughest critic of all.
Seriously.
I'm impressed.

I had vaccination of Influenza.
I'm so afraid of needle can!
My goodness, and it's still hurt even until now.
While walking to the Club house at Changi Airport for the injection;
my face really went pale lah.
Francis called me like several times and i didnt notice him.
LOL.
This is how bad needle can do to me.
I actually told the doctor something like this,
"I am really going to cry, i am so afraid of the needle! Can i not take the stupid injection? Do you have something oral instead?"
He was very gentle and patient, so he said "ok, you just look over to the other side and spell your company name for me okay"
and i went *trembling* "ok, h....a.....r....i..... (The needle went inside)........(voice becomes so shaky)l.......(And he pushed the liquid inside, i swear it hurts!) e.l.a.........ouchhhhh"
LOL.
work is good, reality escape.
I became another girl at the frontdesk that serve people with a smile.
A smile that i couldn't even smile for myself anymore.
I smile because of my passengers.
I smile because they need my smile to feel welcome.
And i feel happy.

The mask, the facade fits me nicely now.
Am i becoming another person again?

Have you ever heard the ringing silence of solitude? It locks one up inside
oneself, engulfing one with the sad certainty that one can never be more
miserable or pathetic than one already is. And within this cyst of self
constructed enclosure, one feels secure. Secure in sorrow that is unchanging and
unyielding.

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