HAHA.
This post will greatly interest those who cares for me :D
Oh well, if you don't, just don't read.

You guys might be thinking "why huihui never join us for lunch & dinner & outings already?"
or "huihui so emo these few days loh"
or "what happened to huihui? something is wrong with her"
or you might get into a group and analyse me.
HAHAHA, don't say i'm thick-skinned; Michelle Neo did and still doing that! LOL.
i know i know :P
and huihui is the name they called me (my clique);
including cousins.
I don't usually allowed people to do that. (:

Let me just tell you all.
This is a very bad habit of mine.
I think Michelle Neo will hate me when i say this :P
She probably doesnt know.


When i met with difficulties;
being the normal me don't really open up to close friends.
Yet, if you all got problems can talk to me ok! :D

I hit on friends that ain't close with me; or friends that probably see things much better than me (which means smarter than me luh!); OR friends that is going to be close with me yet doesn't know anything about me.
Not that you guys ain't smart for me nor good enough.
Just that i want to get raw opinions.
Come to think of it; you guys are the best!
When i want to meet, you all will meet me.
When i want to eat, you all will eat with me.
I mean where do i find such treasures?

But still, being the fucking self-denial me,
I don't want to bother you all.
I just want to try solving my problems.
I want to get everything through my own hands, own efforts.
I want to do something without connections.
I just want to prove that i'm capable instead of "woah, she has a rich bf or rich friends that can get her anywhere she wants"
I know the importance of connections.
Yet i want none of these.

So when you see i'm in dilema,
relaxed; dont panick!
Neither am i a problem statement (like what singyen said)

YES, I WILL run away from everyone;
but at the end of the day, i'm a lost kid.
I will still go back to mama; her best friends and her sweets.
Bear with my strange temper.
I will be fine.
Just that i tend to push myself too much (:
Will be fine.


Today, the dream that i've always ALWAYS wanted to achieve is destroyed.
THE THING I WANTED IT ALOT.
I burnt them away from my own hands.
My own decision.
I cant explained the feeling.
There's a few times in the class i wanted to break down and cry so badly.
All i want to do is to run out from the classroom, start hitting on walls, or do something that can take away the hurt from my heart.
and that fucking bitchy me starts pissing people off. (ashley, that's our forte. LOL)
If i said something horrible or do something horrible to you.
I am sorry.
Very sorry.
I don't mean to say these.
If you feel that i need to make it up for you; i will do it.
(:


So, peeps, matter resolved?
Now i've turned one big round.
I am back on the same ground.
I am happy with what i choose.
and i will be so much better than him! (:
I will be :D
and i'm still a lost kid on the block!
But i think you guys will be there right?!

I Love You All :D



Mum, when you tells me about your bf;
part of me really feels dead inside.
I know you're huting real bad inside.
sorry mum, i'm not capable of listening to your secrets.
I feel much more worst than you.
i know dad is demanding, but that's not the way.
not the way for me too.
I am tired of collecting your problem..
just let me be alone for once.
maybe thats the way why i know promises are meant to be broken.
In the end, i am still on my own;
I'm still a broken doll.

When choices come limited,
When the path you walk is getting darker and leads you to nowhere;
all you left will be yourself.
Friends?
It depends (:

and no, i'm not trying bragged about how bad my life is. just that this moment of life appears to be the dullest and unhappiest moment ever.

I couldnt imagine any thing worst than this, like destroying my own dreams and hardwork.

but i knew, all the heart-breaking choices i made is right. (: just stay and dont go before i lose everything again. ok?

Labels: will it turns out to be regrets?

comment? / top