xiii: you said move on (where do i go)

title: chinese
date: Wednesday, May 27, 2009
time:11:49 PM

近来，我觉得我真得好累，好困。
想要的梦想都离我好遥远；
心，不管这样都好像不在焉。

闷闷不乐的。
做的每一件事；
喜欢上的那个人；
连朋友也是一样；
没有一件是成功的。
真的好困...

头痛，眼痛，手痛，脚痛。
心酸酸的，
那一阵一阵的隐痛，
把呼吸也变得好痛。
我都快喘不过气了。

就在那一瞬间，你的面孔浮面在我的脑海里。
我的心，
感觉上，比现在痛得要一百倍以上。

难道，我真的喜欢上你了吗？

ignore it, if you can't read chinese.
(:

Okay, I was thinking about my family tree.
Was having this conversation with one of my cousin.

(*)(*)(*)FiLiZ aka Judy(*)(*)(*) streSS up on.....WORK: funny hpr
(*)(*)(*)FiLiZ aka Judy(*)(*)(*) streSS up on.....WORK: mai goi give me one
(*)(*)(*)FiLiZ aka Judy(*)(*)(*) streSS up on.....WORK: yr cousin in taiwan
Qhui - counting down; 14 days.: hahaha
Qhui - counting down; 14 days.: which one?
Qhui - counting down; 14 days.: it's like very ridiculous when i look at my family tree.
Qhui - counting down; 14 days.: i only have you all as my cousins
Qhui - counting down; 14 days.: so the rest, i still need to ask, "which one har?"
Qhui - counting down; 14 days.: tsk tsk
Qhui - counting down; 14 days.: ok, the point is, i just feel very funny lah

I really feel very funny in a way.
I feel like we're the boars in the wild.
Eh, i like you, let's fuck man.
no, i think i like you better, let's fuck.
But oops, i've forgotten that i've fucked another one before.

To the extent that, during my grandmother's funeral, they have to introduce me to them.
"Eh, this is your tang ge (cousin) in taiwan."
=.= WTF?
Why would you introduce me my cousin to me?
Ain't we supposed to know each other?!
I was like "knsknnccbbbq, not my problem dude"
okay, i lied.
I was very nice to them.
But, that was in my heart at that time luh!

I was about to say something very obscene, but i've decided to keep it back.
Just that i am still not able to accept all of my cousins except for the few dearest ones.
And surprisingly, there's still alot more I don't know about it.
How complicated.
Tsk tsk.

After all these thoughts,
I dont wanna grow up and learn the complicity of life; or of adult life.
I just wanna be of this age, troubled by what i want to wear;
which guy i like; what should i not eat; what should i buy or not buy;
Even though life seems to get more of it than just the above few options.
But i am contended now.
Still striving to be happy. (:

Love is life and life is living.
how true.

Anyway, sunshine is fading away.
really really. I can feel it!
hahaha. At least i've figured it out;
soon he'll be back.
I guess :/
We shall see then.

Adiós.

Labels: it shouldnt be this way

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