Well, it's a new blog.
I've reverted back to use blogger.
hahaha. I'd still think i love to use things that i'm so used to it.


argh.
the smell of the nicotine still lingers around my fingers and lips.
I'm so used to it till i'm craving for it now.
How bad is this? very bad.
*shakes head*

(this is when you have bad influential beside you :p )


i'm in a lost right now.
who can be accountable for those time when our eyes met?
when we promised each other we will be nothing more than a friend?
should i laugh that we are friends or should i cry because that's all we'll ever be?
life is such a bitch.



i'm waiting for the clock to hit 5 am.
5 am and the first thing i'll do is to take bus 27 to airport.
to terminal 1 to buy cigerettes;
buy some satay sausage (havent been eating anything much);
take my working clothes;
and sit at the smoking area to see sunrise, while smoking.
That's my plan.


and know what,
that smoking area is my hiding place,
it has an incredibly nice view of the sunrise.
I can't wait for it.



Things has been messy for me these few days.
very messy i would say.
somehow, i'm being left alone :(
everyone is having fun.
I'm stuck at SG with work to do.
guess i'll go jogging my mind off after work today.
make myself all out; so i wouldnt have to think so much.
It's damn sucky, when all you can do is to make yourself busy.
till you dont even have time for yourself to forget a certain amount of stuffs.



I think God is pretty irritated by me now.
I prayed for like more than 3 times today to clear my uncertainties.
at the same time, i never feel so much close to God.
I thinks He thinks i need to go to His warm hands for awhile.
the world is a dangerous place for my mind to wander off like this.
ok, this is suppose to be intimate sharing.
Whatever, i just like it lor.

3.30am now.
And time is passing just the right pace with Ash and Beng talking to me.
i'm afraid that i might fall asleep. wooo
i was wondering again, if i go US, will anybody be worried for me?
argh. my dream is to study there.
is either USA or AUSTRALIA.
USA - mass communication
AUSTRALIA - veterinary
or ALL around the world.
Just to enjoy.. the wonder of nature or human nature.


Just to tell you;
i didnt know when not to stop loving you.
you have to teach me.
you have to draw a line.
you have to stop making me guess.
alright? the so-called friends forever, bff shits.
if i continue guesisng your next step.
i think i will give up on you.
being a friend or anything more.
because i dont want to dream of anything that never were and never will be.

Seriously, i can't find a reason to make me smile now.
Looking forward to a better day.
My guts tell me it will be.

comment? / top